From Dashing To Dickhead In Under A Day



A few days before this blog about dating, sex, and relationships went live I had searched WordPress for other blogs to get into. Other blog posts, for people like me BY people like me.

Guess what? Here comes the South riding in again!!

Now I am not saying that everyone in the southern part of the United States are bat shit crazy, just the ones that I find!!

This time inside the panhandle of Florida.

It appears that I can do very well at the beginning. I can meet someone and sound intelligent, nice, proper, and whatever else have you. But the lacking seems to come after that first night of sleep from meeting someone.

It was that first night. I think that it had to be a world’s record that I went from reaching out and saying “hello” to having that woman’s cell phone number in hand and actually using it. Talking on the phone past midnight. All in under six hours.

I should have seen the red flag though. She had drama that following morning. I mean drama that would put your grandmother’s aching bones to shame.

So I attempted to reach out. But I was denied. Promised that I would hear from them a little later on in the day. And then I received a surprise phone call.

I had heard that they were receiving backlash type of comments on their blog that were disgusting and of a sexual nature. But to be fair in this telling of the tale, the blog was erotic poetry. Someone’s bound to read some of it, get hot and bothered, and then say something really fucking stupid because all the blood in their brain rushed to their cock.

Instead I agreed that it was unnecessary for anyone to make such comments like that. But had she not realized I had made similar comments to her the day before, only not harassing in nature? Hmm. I guess not. Or she just tolerated it from me. Who can tell?

But again, I was informed that I would speak with her later in the day as she would call me when she had a moment in time.

That moment NEVER came.

Guess what, people? Telling me you are going to do something and then NOT doing it?? Yeah, that doesn’t hold water with me at all. Who the hell do you think you are, the Queen of England?

Then about three hours later, I received an e-mail stating that they were sorry that they did not call me because they were already on the phone with SOMEONE ELSE!!!

What the fuck??

I did verily sit here for three hours by the phone waiting for the phone to ring, hoping to have a conversation and not knowing where it would lead us to. And you chose to talk to someone else?

Ladies and gentlemen, The Stupid rushed over me like the Angel of Death over Egypt during the first Passover.

I snarled at her for choosing whomever over me. I snarled for leaving me high and dry. And I did it in the most rude manner possible, over the worst way of communication on the planet, via e-mail.

Ten minutes later I realized that I screwed up royally. So I kept trying to hit the BACKSPACE button.


Too late. So I sent a follow up e-mail, apologizing to her.

Damage though was done. I admitted that what I had said to her was mean and stupid and she seconded that. “Yeah it was. I don’t believe you said that to me!”

But I thought about this for a while as I sat there not really knowing what to do or say to help make the situation better after burning her like the levels of Hell.

We had not known each other 24 hours yet. And I didn’t know what was going on with her. I did not know who she spends her time with. I didn’t know who her friends truly were. I knew absolutely NOTHING about her. So why am I getting all huffy and puffy? Moron.

So I attempted to come to her saying “Hey, I really screwed up. I am sorry that I did. Let’s reboot. Besides, were bound to make a few mistakes because we don’t know each other.”

But to the lady in the great state of Florida, I had committed the most committed of all mortal sins ever to have been committed. So she was not even willing to entertain the fact that I was sincere in my apology. And immediately, I was locked up inside of the Friend Zone.

Well….. there went that!!

I left her alone for a full day. I noticed she posted more poetry but then locked up the erotic poetry page as “private” on WordPress. Whatever.

The day after that, I went to see if she would at least say something. But again, without knowing who she truly was …. how was I to know that she doesn’t like getting into confrontations and was quick to forgive. But still kept throwing the word “friend” around like it was supposed to be some collar meant for around my neck. She just wouldn’t stop with it.

That is why I always have said that “Friend is the OTHER ‘F’ word.”

I then tested her waters a little more and asked about talking to her over the phone. I didn’t think she would allow it, but again she pushed it in my face that I did not know her.

Why is it that women do this? Someone’s gotta tell me why.

I get that she was pissed off. I think I would have been too. But constantly rubbing the same turd into the dog’s nose? What good does that do??

Surprisingly enough she said “Call me between this and that hour.” But I was unable to as I had plans during that time period. So I didn’t.

But when I came back I sent a new e-mail explaining why I did not call her during her original time frame and simply asked her when the next good time would be for her.

Guess what? I’m the fucking devil again!!! And this time… I’m PUSHY!

I quit. I absolutely quit. I pulled away from any and all social networking. I deleted anything I may have posted, and I stopped following her on WordPress.

Its ridiculous. I make one big ole mistake. And yeah it was pretty messed up… I admit that. But when you go on saying one thing and doing another, on top of not letting other things go…. its a problem. And its YOUR problem and I’m out the door! So long, Serena!!!!!!!!

And no. Not everyone in Florida is like this. But I sure do know how to find them…. I guess.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s