Shortest Arrangement Ever



For those of you who have read “From Dashing To Dickhead In Under A Day”, I come before you with an even shorter story than that. By that I mean the situation started and ended quicker than a day.

As I was galloping along the blogosphere of WordPress, I’ve come into contact with some really neat people. People whom I have become interested in talking and others just looking for a good laugh from their words on their own blogs.

But this is a story of the “mutual friend.”

The Queen of Crack-Me-Up was on her throne and someone else commented on Facebook. So I thought that I would get to know this commentator. I mean, it honestly couldn’t kill me to try as long as I kept my head clear in thinking that what I was about to do, was all that it was ever going to be.

So when the connection finally came and I began a healthy conversation of “getting to know you” and what not, things went smoothly. Although I was warned of some pretty serious issues pertaining to personal allergies. This woman was allergic to everything under the sun it had seemed.

A published author and curator of intellect, I figured that talking to her would be easy. But her personal background information was locked up tighter than Fort Knox. Eventually I would be able to pull it out of her.

To find that she was four years older than I. Far better than the nearly fifteen years behind from the gal in “Joy-see.” I figured conversations would actually be intelligent and cogent.

Then I asked her about getting an autograph. At this point, the conversation could have gone in any direction.

Come to find out that this author actually and honestly lives in my area!!!

Wow.. what luck! What fortune!! Considering that its been shoveled down my throat so many times to find someone that is local and what not… blah blah blah.

This author IS local!!

So I threw the idea of meeting in a neutral place in public. To my own surprise there was no debate about it nor was the idea shot down.

I gave my compliments and then I moved on. I mentioned that we could at a platonic level and not have to worry about anything. She had previously mentioned she was not looking and enjoyed flying solo. This time…. I decided to actually LISTEN.

Longer story kept short: An arrangement was made for Friday morning that we would meet in public at a store and walk around and talk. I would bring $10 to buy her book and she would autograph it. And if we hit it off… then great, I had a new friend. And she would be LOCAL. And everyone could just shut the fuck up and get off my back about it.

If it moved to dating then so be it. But I honestly didn’t think that it would. I wasn’t much attracted to her from first glance. Keeping an open mind is a dangerous thing sometimes.

We continued to chat and learn more about each other, even to the point where we had the same moral upbringing and same values and standards of living. How often does anyone find that in this day and age??

The chatting continued until it was late and she ended with good night.

I woke up today thinking about it. A little excited to be taken on this brand new adventure. Only to have her contact me with the following message:

I must be a bearer of disappointing news. I’m going to abort our Friday adventure. There are lots of “interesting characters” on the web, and I’ve run afoul of a few (as have some of my other girlie pals), so I’ve decided to err on the side of caution. I apologize for sounding paranoid, but unfortunately, a few weirdos out there make things difficult for decent folk.” 


Umm… what?

First off: Yeah that does sound like something an author would say.

Secondly: It is all over. And it died overnight.

I wrote back that it wasn’t the sounding of paranoia… but rather it IS paranoia!! And its a shame. She refuses to write back. And I am hoping that by the time I am done composing this blog post that she will have made the decision to leave on her own because right now there is nothing but confused rage going on. I honestly would not have much to say to her in a positive tone or light.

My mind was pure and clean to making this into a friendship and nothing more. And she is the one that tears it all away because of something that happened to her previously in her past.

But “From Dashing To Dickhead In Under A Day” seems like a long novel compared to this bulletin.



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