A few nights ago, I braved the much colder weather to watch a band play live just once more before the end of the year.
The band that I went to go see has their certain circle of people, friends and fans alike. One of them being someone that I got used to seeing every time I went out to see this band. She however was in a mini skirt and thigh high boots which many refer to as “hooker boots.”
She brought some guy with her, calling him “MY guy.” so I started to recognize that as a boundary. But then I get told by one of the band members… that the “MY guy” is not a boyfriend, but rather a boy toy.
I should have been all systems go. But before I could do anything the very band member that told me that this guy was a boy toy, had stepped in and was all over her like white on rice.
She apparently is a smoker, smoking cigarettes like a chimney. So with her going out into the cold to smoke… well, the guy had his hands all over her ass. And I literally sat there thinking to myself “Why couldn’t that be me and my hands all over her ass? I’m not a stranger to her- she knows who I am. Why can’t that be me?”
The answer was not so obvious. In fact the idea just raised more questions than it did answers. What would happen between us from that point on? Would she ignore me because it was not something she wanted or liked? What if we slept together? And then every other question which comes after the possibility of having sex with one another.
But really now … why can’t this be me? Why is it so unattainable that I can do things like that with women.. as long as they are okay with it??
When I left the venue, I waved at her and she realized that I was leaving for the rest of the night. She plunged herself against my chest with an embrace to boot and just laying across my chest until her body couldn’t take the awkward position it was in any more. All of THAT happened in front of the boy toy.
I guess I need to take a class on these situations. I’m never good at taking clues or hints. I wonder if there’s a course to take to be a pimp??
The search begins because I don’t see any reason why I could not have been all over this mini-skirted lady that whole night.
Ugh. Fucking frustrating.