Be Careful What You Wish For

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It has been almost ten years since I tried my hand at an international relationship. And by international I mean that the woman was living here locally, but she was not from the United States of America. She was originally on a green card from El Salvador. So she was in fact here legally.

It (the relationship) lasted much longer than I had expected. Six months. All of this considering that my Spanish was horrible and she spoke NO English. I took one hell of a crash course in Spanish speaking.

But as I said it only lasted six months. And she was not a citizen of this country and her green card was soon to expire. She had found herself at a crossroads. Especially with the thought of whether or not to stay in the country and continue to do what she was doing, which was something I disagreed with.

But I sure wasn’t complaining about the relationship aspect of things for sure!

I have no idea where she went. One evening we had an awkward telephone conversation and she asked me if I loved her. I hesitated and she picked up on it. I was confused because I was getting information from other people about her TRUE nature and I didn’t know how to confront her about all of it.

She used to work as a personal attendant for a neighbor of mine. When her work day was through, that’s when she was spend time with me and then go home. But after that weird conversation, I never saw her again. My neighbor never saw her again, never heard from her again. Nobody knows if she stayed in the country or moved on.

But it was a very powerful lesson in dealing with a foreign language and learning how to communicate with someone who doesn’t know how to speak in English while they are in this country.

Which brings me finally to the point of this blog post.

Years after being in a relationship with the El Salvadorian, I attempted to keep up with the Spanish speaking skills because let’s face it ….. you need it around here.

Enter a brand new attendant for a different neighbor around sometime last month.

Trust me when I tell you that I have NO CLUE what is going on and I probably never will when it comes to women and what they do when they do it. I am the worst person to recognize signals too.

I haven’t even been able to figure out what this young woman’s first name is. She’s not shown any signs that she speaks English either, other than “thank you” and that is about it.

Every morning she and the neighbor comes in and gathers around a table and socializes with other Spanish speaking neighbors. But each and every time I look up, the young woman is looking in my direction. Or directly at me.

I have no idea what is going on. I was given a theory that she’s just trying to figure out who I am because I appear to be around the same age as her, and not like the other neighbors who are elderly.

For weeks now it has seemed like I can only get her to say “Hello. How are you?” to me but in Spanish.

I remember about a week and a half ago, I complained about how I did not know her name. And I couldn’t get anything out of her other than saying hello.

I should have been careful for what I was wanting or wishing for.

Today, I got the looks and the stares again. I was sitting on the other side of the room from the table in which she sat with the neighbor. The neighbor however got up and slowly made her way over to get herself more coffee. I sensed something and so I looked up and the young woman was staring right at me and biting on her lower lip softly.

What the hell? That’s a flirtation- right??

The neighbor brought back to the table her cup of coffee but did not sit down, instead she walked out of the room and entered the rest room. It was an action I didn’t detect because before I even knew it, I was being tapped very rapidly and very roughly and the young woman was standing just inches away from me.

I sat back in my wheelchair and I said “What’s up?”… Que pasa?

Before I knew it, she answered me and totally left me in the dust at the rate in which she was speaking. I still do not have any idea what the hell she said to me.

I asked her if everything was okay. All I could tell by her body language and the expression on her face that the answer was obviously no. My mind still spinning from her blindsiding me with her rate of speech. There was no way I was going to get any of that.

I just simply looked at her face and there was no smile. So I did not smile back and I just nodded very slowly. I always find myself doing that if I do not understand what was said to me.

Then she turned to look behind her. The neighbor for which she works for had not come out of the rest room at this point and then she whispered to see my hands.

I lifted them up and she took a hold of my right hand with both of hers and I flinched when she inconspicuously slipped my hand between her thighs. The warmth of her body seemed to be missing as she was standing there still with a heavy jacket on her body even though she had been indoors for at least the past hour and a half.

Then I heard her whisper once more a phrase which translated loosely into English. Basically she said she had no underwear on.

Umm… I could tell.

Then she and I both heard the rest room door begin to open and she fled away from me and went back to her chair at the table where she grabbed her cell phone and started texting someone.

The rest of the time, I didn’t even bother to think about where my hand was but rather it was attempting to focus on what the hell it was that she said to me in Spanish.

I told you I don’t get signals. Even if that was a signal of some kind. I don’t know.

The rest of the time that she was there she roamed around the room some more and each and every time I would look up she was still gazing in my direction. I never said anything about the “thigh action” though to nobody. But she was daring as there was at least a half a dozen other people in there that may or may not have seen it.

I heard her talking later on and I looked up and she was being expressive with her hands. Her right hand having a simple band on it. Now I must figure out if Mexico or at least the other Latin American countries are like Germany and other countries in Europe where they wear their wedding rings on their right hand rather than their left as they do here in the United States of America.

Hell, I don’t even know at this point what I would do with her if anything at all if I was to find out more information about her and that it all would lean towards my favor.

I almost …. ALMOST paid a very heavy price with the woman from El Salvador. I don’t need to be put into the ground by a different Latina.

But I will say this, I can still feel the sensation of warmth on my fingertips.

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Night Club Lessons

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A few nights ago, I braved the much colder weather to watch a band play live just once more before the end of the year.

The band that I went to go see has their certain circle of people, friends and fans alike. One of them being someone that I got used to seeing every time I went out to see this band. She however was in a mini skirt and thigh high boots which many refer to as “hooker boots.”

She brought some guy with her, calling him “MY guy.” so I started to recognize that as a boundary. But then I get told by one of the band members… that the “MY guy” is not a boyfriend, but rather a boy toy.

I should have been all systems go. But before I could do anything the very band member that told me that this guy was a boy toy, had stepped in and was all over her like white on rice.

She apparently is a smoker, smoking cigarettes like a chimney. So with her going out into the cold to smoke… well, the guy had his hands all over her ass. And I literally sat there thinking to myself “Why couldn’t that be me and my hands all over her ass? I’m not a stranger to her- she knows who I am. Why can’t that be me?”

The answer was not so obvious. In fact the idea just raised more questions than it did answers. What would happen between us from that point on? Would she ignore me because it was not something she wanted or liked? What if we slept together? And then every other question which comes after the possibility of having sex with one another.

But really now … why can’t this be me? Why is it so unattainable that I can do things like that with women.. as long as they are okay with it??

When I left the venue, I waved at her and she realized that I was leaving for the rest of the night. She plunged herself against my chest with an embrace to boot and just laying across my chest until her body couldn’t take the awkward position it was in any more. All of THAT happened in front of the boy toy.

I guess I need to take a class on these situations. I’m never good at taking clues or hints. I wonder if there’s a course to take to be a pimp??

The search begins because I don’t see any reason why I could not have been all over this mini-skirted lady that whole night.

Ugh. Fucking frustrating.

Gone Too Far

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So I’ve not spent a lot of time here because the simple fact is that there’s nothing really to write about since nothing is really going on in this part of my dark world.

Until today. And boy did it come with flying colors and almost a parade and a bang.

I saw this redhead on Facebook and decided to “Follow” her. And then I almost immediately felt shame and regret for doing so, based on the fact that once I started to “follow” her I realized that she was a 16 year old model from far away. Ukraine, I believe.

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Her notoriety comes from the fact that she supposedly has the looks of a “living, breathing Barbie doll” at the age of sixteen.

My dilemma was the question of morality. Should I stay or should I go? I decided to stay. But I also decided not to make any sudden movements and call any negative attention towards myself. And as a matter of fact, within a day or two she was forgotten unless she posts something.

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It was the comment section of Facebook posts that spun my head so hard with a morality question that it landed me to write on here once again.

As most models do… she posted some photographs on her Facebook page and as it always has been and always will be- there were comments left by people who are “following” her just as I am.

And here’s where everything comes into place, knowing what very little we know about the model and her young age and everything.

A man who appears to be at least twice her age left a comment: “You are sexy.”

The whole Internet just about blew up. What is right and what is wrong and most importantly how does a person define sexy?

Is it wrong to say to this teen model that she looks sexy? Is it okay to say that??

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The fact of the matter is that sexy goes along side the word beauty or beautiful. Its all within the eye of the beholder. How one person defines as sexy is not going to be the same for another person. Just as the word morality. What is moral for one person might not be moral for another. And so the subject has reached a middle ground where nobody is able to agree upon.

What IS for sure is that the man who left the comment has been harassed by others who felt it wrong.

But it all boils down to this: As I stated, the model is from Russia or the Ukraine or somewhere. Chances are that she does not understand English very well and will not know the dilemma that is spilling all over her Fan Page.

The End Of The Latin Cougar

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History has a way of repeating itself. Even if you are taking the alternate path to try and avoid having it be repeated. History just seems to find a way in my world.

The Latin Cougar around here (after finding out more about her) eventually turned into something no longer something to be desired. This hunt is OVER!

Even though there was plenty of signs of affection towards me in personal ways that went unnoticed on the public radar.

But knowing my history of falling upon women who aren’t really “available” for any kind of romantic involvement or relationship based on many factors in the life of that woman. Mainly the fact that they are married. No matter if they are happy in their marriage or not.

This chapter seems to be heading towards the end. The Latin Cougar and her sister, my neighbor, will be taking a trip to Las Vegas- apparently tomorrow. The story told is that once the sibling sisters return back here from their little vacation, is that the Latin Cougar will be heading back to Mexico……….. where her husband is. And that is why it is over.

Thankfully I am able to be at peace in knowing that I caught on super early as to what was happening between her and I. And I caught on so long ago that her rubbing her tits to the back of my neck and head yesterday wasn’t all that necessary for me to know what she was attempting to communicate without using spoken language.

It just doesn’t change the fact that there’s a husband there. I therefore want no part of that kind of arrangement because I had been there before and got burned.

So in the time being, I’m social. I’m pleasant and kind. But I’ve learned and am learning.

I’m getting much better at this bullet-dodging thingy.

Taking The Hint That It Is Over

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The slightest of interruptions during the afternoon of a simple knock on the door led to one of the largest emotional roller coaster rides ever imagined.

A large parcel was being delivered and its magnificent size was too large to fit inside the mailbox.

It was unusually light in weight and disproportionate for its size.

I didn’t spend a lot of time dwelling in mystery and intrigue, I simply opened up the box.

The contents within were simple. Every piece of correspondence that I had ever written to this person was inside this box. Including packages, photographs of myself, and postcards. And of course all the letters ever carefully thought out and planned before mailing to them.

The only item that was in addition was a piece of notebook paper which had drawn sad faces in various places, and in the center was written “amistad esta terminado.” and a P.S. which read “I’m keeping the jewelry and the t-shirt.”

It was over. What I had with this woman came to her decision to end it. However small or big the relationship was. And at the time it was merely a mutual relationship to be penpals.

The very next day, my latest letter that had been sent to her and awaiting a response was “refused: return to sender.”

Phone calls were either unanswered or hung up in my face in the most rude of ways.

The signs were all there. She was done being friends. I was still stuck in confusion trying to sort things out when the dust wouldn’t clear.

The answers never came. I have no idea what caused her to to change her mind. I just knew that she was finished completely finished with corresponding with me through letters and other mailed items.

Things kinds of things always come and go. Nobody is immune to it. But the difficult part of it all is recognizing the signs of impending death and doom of the relationship before it hits rock bottom and falls to pieces.

Some relationships can be saved. Others are just broken beyond repair. And with those broken relationships, it isn’t worth searching for the black box. Instead it would be easier to just walk away from the piles of wreckage and live strong for another day. They weren’t meant to be in your life any more. Life is cruel. Life is a lesson. Depending on how you view it.

My biggest confusion was that she was willing to send back everything that had my name on it. Everything that I had ever given to her. Everything that had my name attached to a memory. But she KEPT the t-shirt and jewelry I had given her. And that didn’t make sense.

Other than she was selfish?

Are you able to read the signs? Are you able to see them coming ahead? And most importantly, are you recognizing them as red flags and problems within your relationships and… are they problems that can be fixed or are they problems which turn into nails in your coffin?

How do you deal with it???

The Hunt Of Latin Cougar

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Someone please call the police! I’ve been a victim of a cougar attack!!

But in all honesty, I shouldn’t complain about it. In fact, I shouldn’t even be analyzing it. Still though, it happened and I don’t know why. I think that the not knowing is the worst thing and so my mind has been spinning it around and around and around to see what it spits out as either reason or excuse.

A very common and frequent guest of one of my neighbors has been spotted more and more as of lately to the point that the person in which she is visiting, is under back talk and scrutiny as to whether or not this guest and the residential neighbor is actually living together. Not like it is anyone’s business though!

Nonetheless, she’s there in the mornings. She sits at the table, drinks coffee, and often times bringing along some sort of breakfast snack or pastry to go along with it. And she’s willing to share with those around her at the table, and if I am there she will share or at least offer to me to share.

The communication however is quite difficult as she does not speak English. Only Spanish.

And as this is intended to be a sex and relationships blog, I won’t get into the politics about languages being spoken and what should and should not be.

I had found myself involved in a very similar situation with a woman from El Salvador for about six months. She did not speak English either. But the motion of the ocean cares not which tongue you use.

Trying to figure out the current day cougar has been tricky. I don’t want to come across as if I am on the hunt. That’s the last thing I would need around here is to have people assuming that I’m trying to get into this woman’s business, even though its none of theirs.

Hell, even attempting to figure out this cougar’s first name is a freaking challenge. A challenge that still goes on. And what is the connection or relationship behind coming here to visit?

The cougar has however adopted a rather friendly approach to greetings and salutations. It is a physical approach but still friendly. As of recently, she has been hugging or side arm hugging people as she enters the room, all depending on whether or not the person she is greeting is capable of giving a full embrace.

At first, it had been a matter of the cougar’s comfort. But after a few days and weeks of seeing me every morning for coffee and just being there at the same table has allowed her to relax a bit and be a little more open.

Hell just last week she got up from the other side of the table to sit right next to me as I was looking through a cookbook full of weird recipes. With her inability to understand English (or so I suspect) she instead just was looking at the photographs of food that were in the book. A few times, she asked what it was and I did my best to translate.

I can speak Spanish. But if you dropped me off to be all by myself in the middle of Mexico, I would be so rightfully screwed.

But the cougar warms up day by day by day. Side arm hugs turn into full embrace. It also turns into her talking with me on a one-to-one level more often. Even though I am only understanding about 20-30% of what she is saying at that exact moment. Usually I’ll leave and think about what was said and piece it together later to understand more of what was said, however any opportunity to retort is long gone.

And then it all changed this morning. There’s no going back because of the change either.

Oh sure, I could call it quits but honestly who would want that??? Not anyone that I would know. Certainly not me!!

Upon waiting for the coffee to be brewed, I moved over towards the coffee pot and the cougar also was standing by and waiting patiently. Clearly the both of us having a need for caffeine.

Then suddenly she spoke up and I probably understood about 75% of what she asked me, which was whether or not I wanted coffee. I said that I did, and she grabbed a second coffee mug. Then she asked if I wanted to add sugar or whatever and I told her what I normally put into my coffee and she put it all at the bottom of the cup. Not something that I would do personally but hey, its all going into the same place. Then she poured coffee into MY cup before pouring coffee into her cup!!!

And to be brutally honest, I could have developed a swollen ego about it, but as I am understanding it – that’s just part of the Latin culture for her to do so.

The thing that I am unclear about is whether or not it is still part of that Latin culture for her to serve it to me by handing me the cup that was filled to the top carefully so that nobody got burned and wouldn’t let go until she knew that I firmly had a handle on the cup. And as I grabbed the cup, she darted her head straight forward and kissed and pecked at my fingers. It was the first of signals that went flying that I didn’t pick up on.

Yay me!!!!

Time passed. Everyone was enjoying their coffee… attempting to wake up. Then there was some kind of bread with cream cheese inside and the cougar served that to me too. Well, she asked first and I said yes, THEN she served it to me. She could have just passed it along but she got up and handed it to me. She was only two chairs away sitting at a circular shaped table. Second signal failed to detect!

The conversation at the table had reached a point where it was 100% Spanish and zero English and so I kind of got left out for a bit and so I finished my snack and my coffee and moved on but stayed inside of the room.

As the morning progressed, people started to leave. Including the cougar. So I moved forward to at least be inside the nucleus.

The cougar was saying at the very least “Bye!” to people. So she came up to me and fully embraced me and did not let go.

She began to caress my back, shoulders, and the back of my neck before embracing me stronger and whispering words that took me a while to translate in my head. And then she kissed me lightly upon the lips.

Rosa at the ruinsWhoa… what was that?!?

She whispered something along the lines of “I’m missing you.” or “I’m going to miss you.” or something very similar. And it didn’t make sense until I had spoke to another neighbor and to find out that the cougar was going to Las Vegas for a short trip.

Okay now that “missing you” part made sense.

The fact that the cougar is visiting one of the neighbors was still a mystery to what the connection was between them.

The neighbor and the cougar are SISTERS.

Damnit!!!

Not sure if I’ll be seeing the cougar soon, the neighbor that I spoke to that thought they were going to Las Vegas believed that they were leaving today. We’ll see what happens. But the hugs and the kisses were brand new. And I didn’t even bother to pick up on these signals she was letting off.

 

Need A Judge’s Decision

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So I am not exactly 100% sure on what to think about it. There is however a situation between myself and some colleagues that I know. The debate is over the fact that porn star Faye Reagan had been known to have been engaged in real life, and that she did not perform anal sex on camera.

Well now the stories are that she broke up with the fiancee and she is now single.

These colleagues of mine went ape shit.

Suddenly their plans have changed. Their lives have changed to now they feel that they have a shot with this actress.

Right away, two totally opposite sides to this matter come to mind. One being that this is a porn star and these guys don’t know a damn thing about her, other than what they’ve seen on video or on film. They don’t know what she’s like when the cameras are off. They just know that they LOVE what they see on screen!

But then the smaller voice comes up and says that anything is possible. And I honestly do believe in that. The other parts are that one never knows what could truly happen. It just seems as if the odds of this pairing are so low that its already on a course for disaster.

I could not tell you what would be right and what would be wrong in this case.

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The one part of me wants to slap these men across the backs of their heads, wondering what they are thinking. What actually makes them think that they can meet this porn star and just live happily ever after? Do they not realize that her career means that she’s going to be engaging in sex with OTHER men??

I personally don’t think that would be something that I could deal with mentally. The thought of knowing that my girlfriend or wife was making a living by sleeping with a bunch of other people. But I guess it does work for some people.

I don’t know how long this porn star has been single in her relationship status. But anything can happen. These guys will have to quit doing everything that they are doing here and go to California if they actually want a shot at this to happen. Even if it fails in the end. And for whatever reason, it sounds as if that is their plan. If they wanna drop everything and move to California, then so be it.

Sex Ban

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The 2014 World Cup is coming to an end soon. And I’m sure its had its favorable and most memorable moments. I’ve not been paying that much attention. I never really do until the end any way.

But consider this very strange and odd fact: Players are banned from engaging in sex during the World Cup. Other teams forbid their players from having sex the night before a game. And some just outright restrict it throughout the tournament’s entirety. And usually the World Cup lasts a full month!!

Can you imagine being told you cannot have sex for a month, for the sake of this idea that players will perform better?

It is happening. And it is really strange. For some it will work. For losing teams, they will just go home frustrated as hell and probably let off some steam– IF you know what I mean!!!

Crazy.  But true.

I remember hearing about the German team who was restricted from having sex a few years ago. But its not just the Germans, its other teams in on this sex ban as well.

What do you think of this ban? Do you think it is a good idea? Do you think it enhances a player’s performance or is it just fluff??

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/07/08/world-cup-sex-bans-_n_5567255.html?utm_hp_ref=sports

A Bird With No Bloody Bloke

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This is Natasha Goldsmith from Exeter, England.

She is a 29 year old woman who apparently has no other kind of life but to collect Hello Kitty merchandise and collectibles.

It started for her when she was a child when she claimed her first piece of collectibles 15 years ago. Now, almost $100,000 (in U.S. dollars) and that many years later, her pieces number into the tens of thousands.

I have seen many interviews of her “Kitty Kingdom” online and some of the Internet articles are daring to ask the question why is it so difficult for her to find a boyfriend.

Well… let’s see.

Living in a ONE bedroom flat and you got shit everywhere. And I mean EVERYWHERE!! And it is all Hello Kitty. Yes…. I do wonder why it is so difficult for her to find a boyfriend.

But I’ve seen conflicting attitudes come from this collector. In one interview she’s sad she is all alone and sad that she does not have someone to love. In a second interview, she’s sad that she is all alone however she’s standing by her collection. And even still in another interview after that, she says that if men cannot handle her collection — that’s their problem and not hers and therefore they just need to stay away.

And in other videos that I have seen she tries to come off like she’s not that insane because not everything that is in her collection is something that she bought herself. Even though she has admitted to dropping that much money on her stuff. She claims over and over and over again how other people that she’s met throughout the years have given her stuff as gifts. And that may be true, but I do not think that it is to the extent that she would want us to believe in her videos.

Okay, little miss princess with the plastic Hello Kitty tiara upon your grown ass adult head….. you cannot have it all. Which is it??

Somewhere along the line, her life forgot to tell her that it was time to grow up.

I don’t think that there’s anything wrong with collecting stuff. But when you live your entire life within your collection… there’s something missing upstairs. Perhaps that money would have been better spent on a therapist or something. Who knows for sure!

Living inside of your collection and hobby is NOT a safe place to be.

No, Not All Men

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I wanted to wait long enough for this story to calm down just long enough so that I could throw in my own two cents on the situation.

We all know who this guy is. We all know what he did. And we all know what kind of aftermath it swept up in the process.

The thing that got to me was the #YesAllWomen campaign that was supposed to take place on Twitter. This thing spilled over into pretty much EVERYTHING and started this riot act.

Well guess what? Not ALL women. And no not ALL men either.

Let me tell you a story.

Back during the days of high school, I probably could have related to this guy very distinctively and very directly. I had no women who wanted to date me, no girlfriend, no females hanging out with me. And even though I did ask girls out, they always said no. ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS.

Did it make me feel good? No, of course not. Did it frustrate me? Most definitely!

Did I kill these women because they rejected me? NOT AT ALL.

By the time I was 17 or 18, I was sick of hearing “No” from girls in high school. It got to the point where it happened so much that even TODAY in the 21st Century, I anticipate the answer to be “No” even when I’ve not given the woman a fair chance to speak her mind.

And of course when she says “Yes” I immediately wonder whether or not she’s sick or if she is just teasing or whatever.

This guy in California basically had things fucked up in his head. He thought that having a BMW, designer clothes and accessories, and being a part of a wealthy family should have gotten him laid so much that he couldn’t keep up with all of the girls. But instead, the exact opposite happened for him. He got NOTHING.

At age 22, he was still a virgin. And he was definitely whining and bitching about it. Instead of going and doing something about it, he blamed WOMEN for the fact that he still had his virginity.

I guess that we all can be grateful that he didn’t go out and rape and assault women, but at the same time he deliberately blamed OTHERS for his problems and misfortunes and failed to see the problem within himself.

When I kept seeing that woman after woman kept rejecting me, I eventually got to the point of asking “Is it me??” and then attempted to do something about it to correct the situation. But the damage in high school for me was already done. There wasn’t going to be anyone that would say “Yes” in high school. And that was just the cold, harsh reality of it.

This guy however, gets through high school somehow, goes to a local community college and then lusts after everything he sees and then blames others for his misery when the rest of the world is having fun.

Yes, I think the guy was nuts. I think the guy did have a “holier than thou” attitude when it came to women and most other men. And I think that he had some major issues that never got addressed that would have helped him.

But you know what? This guy blaming “blonde sluts” for the fact that he was still a virgin was beyond ridiculous. If you have seen any of his YouTube videos, he explains that he feels its everyone else’s problem but not his own. And he just cannot see why people do not like him in general. Then he shows his own ass.

If this guy was so “well off” then why didn’t he just go nail a hooker or better yet, grab the nearest bottle of lotion or vaseline?? No… he wanted sex with a woman and he wasn’t getting what he wanted- so he acted like a spoiled child and blamed THEM for it. But then his lowered mental state kicked in and HE was the one that decided that these people were going to be “punished” for it and that these people (particularly the women and most definitely the women that rejected him) actually DESERVED what he was going to do to them, which was end their lives.

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My point is that I was generally in the same situation as he was in when I was in high school. And I had the same anger and frustration with girls. BUT I NEVER LAID A FINGER ON THEM IN ANY ACT OF VIOLENCE OR REVENGE!!!! So don’t tell me “all men” and “all women” … don’t even start. The fact that I never harmed any of the women that rejected me, is what disconnects me from this whacko.

Whether it was misogyny or mental illness or whatever the case, he made his choices. And clearly he chose a destructive and violent path which led to his own death. I’m still waiting to get confirmation that he ventilated his own skull or not. There are reports of him shooting it out with police.

Again, I want to point out that I chose something else. I chose another way to deal with everything. I didn’t just go balls out and decided to kill anyone and everyone just because I was rejected by them.

I would in fact eventually get over the pain of rejection. And now… many years later, come to find out that I am actually living BETTER on my own, as a single man than these women lived their lives to be where it is today in 2014.

What a shock.