Okay, Now What?

 

For a colleague: 

You said you found her many years ago. Sprawled across pages and pages of the Internet, looking hotter than anything else you have ever laid your eyes upon.  Now what?

You said you have been following her modeling career online for as long as possible and as much as possible, but you could never get enough of her. Now what?

You said that you found her website and she’s sexy as hell. But she has no posted nudes and you don’t know whether or not she has done any. But you’ve found a ton of photographs and modeling jobs that she’s done in the most recent past. Now what?

You said you’ve joined the website. You’re paying every 90 days for content that is basically still the same. You want more and have made the suggestion for her to do live video chats. And you’ve sent that suggestion via an e-mail. Now what?

You said that things could only get better from here on. And that you had heard a rumor that she’s going to be selling merchandise and its your dream to own everything that there is to be sold. But you do not have a steady job and your spare time is spent on the website gazing for something new and fresh. Now what?

You said that she answered you back via e-mail. And you are thrilled to have what you think is her personal e-mail address (even though the ending part is part of the website she runs). Now what?

You said that she’s now willing to do one-on-one video chats with people who have membership to her website. And this means you are also being offered that option. She’s offering to talk to you for two full hours for $2,500. Now what?

You said that you do not know how long it is going to take you to save up that kind of money but you are going to go for it. Because you feel that need and burning desire to talk to her personally because she needs to know how you feel. I said red flag and fucking warned you to stop.

You said you didn’t care. You want to be with her so bad that you will do anything that it takes so that she can see your side of things and you are going to hope for the best that she will see that you are true and the rest are fake. Now what?

You woke me up at 4:30 in the morning because you had been online all night long and you realized that you stumbled across her REAL name and not her modeling/stage name and you’ve been searching Google since before midnight. You confirmed that this was her real name somehow. Then I hung up on you. Now what?

You said that you stumbled further into greater things as you now have found out where she lives. The city and state is now revealed to you because you have constantly searched and have not given up. She lives 1,204.43 miles away. But you know exactly where and that information was found for free. Now what?

You said you figured out a lot about her personal life and you don’t agree with it at all. Her politics, morals, values, and issues are all wrong in your eyes because she believes in the total opposite of you. You are upset and angry because she’s not the perfect angel you dreamed her to be… but she’s still hot. Now what?

Dear colleague: 

Everyone on the planet has that certain someone that gives us this hope, this idea, this fantasy that keeps our spirits raised and our feelings happy. They give us the joy that we have seemingly been searching for all of our lives. We believe they are “the ONE” even though we don’t know a damned thing about them.

But now you must answer these questions. Not for me, not for your friends, not for your co-workers, and definitely not for your mother… but for yourself!!! What are you going to do now??

Chances are that this model, although appreciative of your continued support and kindness and undying faithfulness to her career, will not give a shit about you personally. You are nothing to her… truth be told. 

As much as you may like, even if you bump into her on the streets, she’s not going to simply fall into your arms and love you forever.

Even if you were to find her on the streets- you are but a stranger to her and so why should she just fall into your arms and love you forever? Only because you would love for that to happen! With the amount of effort, time, and money that you have spent on her or on things related… the best you are going to get is probably her to personally say “Thank you!” and that will be the end of it.

There is this word called “obsession” however I am afraid that you have that in the rear view mirror. And you’re on a dangerous path. I fear for her safety as well as yours. Keep yourself at a safe distance from her. Associate and communicate with her as you would your own mother, sister, niece, or aunt. Stop telling her how hot she is — she’s heard it before!! And you won’t be the last person tell her that either. Dial it back…. A LOT! Disaster is on the horizon and its coming in hard and fast. Slow it down to minimize your emotional damage and pain.