Fancy Comebacks To The Age-Old Questions

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I often come across people who are going to have questions about my life, my issues, and my possibilities. But I think that other than the usual stuff that I hear on a daily basis (literally, daily) is the question of sexual functionality.

This question comes 99% of the time from women. I cannot say for sure why that is.

But I get the question all of the time of whether or not I am capable of getting an erection. Or even better and more direct, the question of whether or not I can perform and have sex.

Earlier in life, I used to take offense to such inquiries. I mean after all, my sex life is MY private business and not the business of anyone else. As I grew older, I took less and less offense to the question and likened it to the innocent question of a child when they would ask “What’s wrong with your legs?” or “How come you can’t walk?”.

Ever since my move into the Lone Star state, it has been my very own SISTER who has come to me with the question. In which… #1- That’s gross. #2- It’s not actually my sister asking the question, but rather someone too timid, shy, or scared to ask me personally so they ask HER to ask ME whether or not I can have sex… or get a boner. Whatever.

I’ve constantly replied to my sister that she should respond by telling them that “I’ve never heard anyone complain.”

However my sister won’t do that.

So I go back into that stuck position of what to do or what exactly to say when the question “arises” (excuse the pun).

The agreement came between my sister and I that people should either ask me personally or just keep their nose clean. That way she’s not stuck in that gross middle-man position.

But for the rest of the world, what am I going to do??

It is true. You won’t hear ANY negative feedback from those I have been intimate with. And it is actually okay and normal to wonder about such things… unless you’re just having some sicko fantasy of trying to change a person in a wheelchair into a sex fiend.

SHAME ON YOU! And what’s your name and telephone number??

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So then the question came to my attention today for the first time in a long time via social media. They admitted that they were nervous about asking (which they always are) and realized it was none of their business. And that’s just par for the course when someone actually earns enough testicular fortitude TO ask.

And for the record it was in fact another female who was asking. I had to think about it for a few moments before responding.

wink I think I’ve come up with the remedy for the female question.

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